Eyes Wide Open

A reflection on John 9:1-41

Six and half years ago I stood in this spot and offered to you my first sermon as your rector. I no longer have a copy of that sermon, long lost in one of the numerous computer crashes before I learned how to back up my data on a flash drive. But I do remember the illustration I used and the point I wanted to make.

In that sermon I described my experience working as a volunteer in the pediatric unit of a local hospital. I talked about one baby in particular. The mother came to this country from India but the father’s visa was repeatedly delayed. So, the mother, pregnant with their first child had to give birth in a foreign country without family or spouse. And the baby developed “failure to thrive” syndrome.

Failure to thrive is somewhat of a mystery to doctors, no one knows exactly what causes it. All they know is that despite everything appearing normal a baby fails to gain weight and grow; instead the baby diminishes and sometimes dies.

The Indian mother cared for this baby night and day, comforted and loved him, even as she grieved her own struggle to parent in this lonely way.

I used that illustration to name what I felt was a fear here – that this congregation feared its ability to grow and that that fear would manifest into a failure to thrive.

Underneath all of our work over these last years it has remained a subtle but lingering fear. Will this church die?

The point I wanted to make in that first sermon was that the desire to live, and the ability to do so, resides in large part with you, the people of St. Hilary’s.

Just like the baby, no matter how much loving care he received, something in him needed to decide to live. Somehow it seems the baby needs to make that decision, in what ever context the baby is able to do so, before the organs begin to fail from lack of nourishment.

Church communities need to make a similar decision to live. It needs to be an organic decision; the energy to live must rise up within, with the people willing to do what it takes to live.

Of course I had only a glimmer of an idea, in that first sermon, just how challenging the road ahead would be. Together we faced, just three short weeks after my arrival, the events of September 11, 2001. We gathered here that night in our fear, to be comforted by one another, to share stories and to pray.

We spoke of the evil of this world, the tendency for chaos to rear its ugly head, and God’s desire to forever scoop into the chaos and pull forth new life.

We had to remind ourselves that God desires life; God desires health; God love us and wants only the best for us; and, God will always win out over evil.

We have waded through natural disasters in the world around us – of Tsunami’s and hurricanes, finding our strength in helping others.

We have mourned through the deaths of many beloved people in this parish and found that we are stronger because of our ability to care for one another.

We have faced deep profound challenges to our faith in the actions at General Convention in 2003. We have found our voices as individuals and as a community as we willingly entered into difficult conversations. We have learned how to speak from our hearts and to listen with respect.

We have learned to let go of those who felt they had no choice but to choose another way, another church.

We have found our strength in living the tension of the middle way.

We have learned how to listen to others and understand that Christians can disagree on a whole number of issues, doctrines, and dogma, and still be good and faithful Christians.


We have learned how to read scripture and realize that each of us brings our own bias, our own lens.

But we have also learned that there is a central truth to the Word of God – that God loves us just as we are – and that we are called to love God, love others, and love self with that same generous spirit that God shows us.

We have learned that this is not easy – it has not been easy to extend love to those who would rail at us for not taking sides; for choosing to follow the middle way.

Sometimes it has not been easy to love God as we wondered what was happening to us, to this faith community – why didn’t God make us big like other churches?

And it has not always been easy to love ourselves and see the strengths and beauty and value of this parish family in the midst of our stress and strain and fear that we will fail to thrive.

Our gospel reading this morning offers us a direct link to all these same issues. In the story of the man born blind the Pharisees seek to point fingers and lay blame – surely the man was blind because of something he did before birth, or something his parents did before he was born.

The Pharisees see a direct link between cause and effect, between well-being and sin. But in the process they spend all their energy pointing outward and fail to look inward, fail to see their own sin and spiritual blindness.

And therefore fail to see God’s love evident in the world.

We have spent much of the last six years looking directly at this same theme -

that we begin first by looking at our selves and the ways we as individuals and as community are living in broken relationships with God and one another.

But it is not enough to just look at our brokenness. We have to do something about it. We have to make amends. We have to look at the ways we reject God’s love for us and for the world. We have to look at the ways we reject others and hurt people – and how we do this in ways known and unknown. Then we have to ask God to forgive us and to help us.

In traveling the journey of Lent we are pointed in the same direction as the disciples – a direction that helps us learn, over and over again, (like the disciples)that God is not a judging punishing God. Yes, God can be that. But what we learn from Jesus is that God is really one who aches for the brokenness of this world – in all its manifestations.

And, in Jesus we learn that God yearns to heal that brokenness. Also in Jesus we learn that God has chosen to do this, to heal the brokenness of the world, by working in and through human beings.

In Christ God came to heal this sin sick world and restore us to wholeness. But like that baby, we have to be open to God’s transforming love. We have to let it into our lives and into our spirits and we have to act upon it.

I don’t know why some failure to thrive babies turn around and live anymore than I know why others don’t. All I know is that is complicated and very sad.

And I don’t really know why some churches turn around and live and grow while others do not. I do think that Diana Butler Bass is on to something.

Remember our meetings in January 2006 when I shared with you her model, the tinker toy model? I think she is on to something when she suggests that we need to learn a new way of being church – one that is less about “authority” and “more about questioning without easy answers.”

And I think she is on to something when she says that the churches that grow have three factors all working together: a clear vision for mission, quality leadership in lay and ordained positions, and the Holy Spirit energizing the place.

I like to think that the work I have done here has been setting the stage for this to happen. We have laid the foundation for a clear mission with our work with refugees – whether that work plays out in selling Bishop’s Blend Coffee and the proceeds to Mexico, or with resettling refuges, or other Fair Trade endeavors…there is a clear sense of mission here. B will now take over as the Episcopal Migration Ministries Refugee Program Diocesan Liaison. She will help to keep this ministry remains front and central with the parish and the diocese.

I also like to think that we have quality leadership in our vestry and lay leaders, and these folks will hold the helm and steady this ship to navigate the waters ahead. They will need your support, prayers, and love. Be sure to pray for them and thank them.

And you will be in good hands with Pastor Deb. She will bring a calm and steady hand to the leadership as well as new enthusiasm and inspiration. Pray for her too and offer her your full support.

Remember always that you are a strong faith community making a difference in the world. Remember always to love God, love your selves, and to love others.

Remember me as one who loves you too.

And, remember that this church is not a community gathered around its priest – rather this is a community gathered around Jesus. All you have to do to thrive is to be yourselves, to love generously, and to continue to see beyond yourselves.

Don’t allow your anxiety about the future make you blind. Don’t allow your fear to limit what is possible. Allow the healing love of God to wash you and to open your eyes anew, to see clearly what is possible.

With eyes wide open, with the clarity of new sight you will see Jesus,

and he will lead you to new life.