Gratidude Reflection Day 5

For many of us this time of year is difficult. Our culture portrays this as a season of parties and family and fun. But that is not always true. Some of us are alone and lonely. Loneliness challenges us and we seek to fill that void in all kinds of ways. Loneliness is real. This is the feeling we have when someone we love has died. When our children are grown and we find ourselves with an empty house. When a good friend has moved away. But being alone is not always about loneliness. We can feel lonely in a crowd. Some of us are afraid of being alone, fearful that it will feel the same as being lonely. There can be a spiritual dimension to being alone, which may be helpful for this season.

Harry James Cargas says this about being alone: "Lonely is not a synonym for alone. The word lonely connotes isolation and dejection, a missed absence of companions when it is applied to persons. The root of alone, however, is in two words: all one. This means the opposite of isolation and dejection. The emphasis is not on the one but on the wholly one. It means complete by oneself. How many of us can actually feel that way? It is not easy to be fully in oneself, to respect oneself, and to self-develop to such a degree that a person looks forward to long periods of being alone. For some who enjoy this oneness, they realize that because of their relationship with Christ they are never lonely. They cultivate the chances to be alone so that they can actually savour the moments with God alone, the moments when their unity with the creator can be both enjoyed and developed. This implies quite a special human being. Too often we are frantic for companionship - for the team or the club or the class or the party or the movie or the TV. Immersion in such activities will free us from having to face the basic issues of existence. Such trivial busyness will keep us from intimate contact with ourselves. The kingdom of heaven is within each of us, yet how seriously do we try to make contact with it? Not only is there no need to 'go out there' in most instances, but rather it is spiritually harmful to look outside ourselves while ignoring what is by nature within us. The woman or man who can be alone - can be together in the self - is the kind of person we can admire, can hold as a model. The quest for wholeness for individual unity is one of the great journeys a life can make, indeed should make. There is no easy route to being properly alone. But making the trip is learning to find what the meaning of life is." (Encountering Myself, pg. 108)

Loneliness is a real emotion. But sometimes our feelings of loneliness mask our fear of being at one with ourselves. Being able to be alone, to be with oneself, can be a spiritual journey of finding where God is with us. Being alone can be the journey through which we become all one. There is grace in this journey, grace when we discover that God is with us, and in that regard, we are never really alone. That is something to be grateful for.